Stella Notecor (stella_notecor) wrote,
Stella Notecor

Depression Sucks

I have determined that one of the first things I lose the will to do when I am depressed is write. Which makes very little sense because when I write I am able to escape the situation I am in and relax. I think it is due to the amount of brain power that writing requires.

Anyway, due to work stress and two deaths in my family this year, I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety since last July. I am finally coming out of my fog, thanks to a fantastic counselor and anti-depressants (though I'm still trying to find the perfect fit... currently, I'm less depressed, but struggling with side effects).

I've been working steadily on my latest book (Succubus), but have been really struggling with the last three chapters. For me, endings are the HARDEST part of a story to write... I seem to make it about 3/4 of the way through a story, and then suddenly, I hit a wall. The chapters are drafted, but I haven't editted them enough to be happy with them yet.

Hopefully I will be able to publish soon. Canceling the pre-order for Succubus upset me more than my readers would probably guess, but I feel guilty putting imperfect work out in the world and asking people to pay for it! Seems to me, if you're spending good money for my work, I should be giving you good work in return. ;)

To those on my flist struggling with anxiety and depression, please take the time to find a good doctor and a good counselor. Both are worth their weight in gold! (And cost nearly that much, but that's another story...) Struggling through mental issues helps no one. Be strong, but ask for help!
Tags: personal: blah, personal: yay, random

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