Jim woke up with a grunt. Shit. His back was killing him, and he was only three months pregnant. What was he going to do for the next four or five it would take before the kid was ready to join the world?
He levered himself out of bed and wandered over to his desk. He logged into the archiving program, intending to catch up on some paperwork. It was a better use of his time than tossing and turning in bed, plus if he did it now he wouldn’t feel as guilty about neglecting his work in favor of a nap that afternoon.
He opened his pending documents folder, only to discover that it was empty.
Empty? No way. Even with all the extra time he’d been spending doing “administrative” work, he’d still had tons of paperwork left. Suspicious, he opened his recently submitted files folder and clicked on a document that he knew he hadn’t completed.
Just as he’d thought. Spock had signed off on it. He checked another document, and then another. Every document he opened had Spock’s signature on it.
He gritted his teeth and glanced at the clock. It was only four in the morning, but Jim didn’t care. He pulled on his uniform and boots and stomped out into the hallway. Spock’s rooms were conveniently located next door, and he banged on the door. Loudly.
Moments later, Spock answered, his clothes and hair immaculate.
“Do you ever fucking sleep?”
Spock blinked at him. “I slept for five hours last night.”
“I don’t believe you.” Jim jammed a finger into Spock’s chest. “Because there’s no way you could have reviewed all of my files and still had time to sleep.”
Spock glanced up and down the hallway. “Perhaps you should come in.”
“Why? There’s no one out here!” Jim threw his hands up in the air. “It’s four in the fucking morning! Normal people are still sleeping.”
Spock stepped aside and waited silently until Jim finally entered. He shut the door, and motioned for Jim to sit down at his small table. “Would you like a drink?”
“No!” Jim flopped into a chair, then regretted it when a stab of pain shot through his back. “Just tell me why you’ve been doing my work.”
Spock sat in the other chair. “You are twelve weeks pregnant.”
“According to my research, you are likely experiencing fatigue and mood swings.” Spock’s gaze fell to Jim’s stomach. “And you are beginning to show.”
Jim looked at his stomach, then crossed his arms over it. There was barely any difference. He hadn’t even had to get new pants yet. “And what does that have to do with anything?”
“I assumed you would want to avoid our shipmates, so I completed any tasks that would require you to leave your room.”
Jim sucked in a breath. “Are you that worried people will find out he’s yours?”
Spock shook his head vehemently. “No. He is Vuhlkansu and he is treasured. However, you have requested that the pregnancy remain a secret. That will become more difficult as you grow larger.”
“I’ve got a while to go before people start deciding I’m pregnant,” Jim said. He uncrossed his arms. “There will be rumors soon, sure, but people will decide I’ve developed a beer gut or that I have a tumor.” Humans didn’t like to think outside of their boxes. No one would even imagine that he was pregnant. “Unless you told someone?”
“I informed Uhura when I explained what occurred on the planet, but she has not told anyone.”
Huh. Jim knew she could keep a secret, but he thought she’d have told someone by now, if only to get back at Spock. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. She is discreet.” He cleared his throat. “I believe she also wishes to keep it a secret because it betrays my infidelity.”
Oh. Yeah. “What is she telling people then?”
“The truth. We ended our relationship due to mental incompatibility.” Spock laced his fingers together and placed his hands on the table. “It is not an uncommon reason for Vulcans to terminate their relationships.”
“Still, she’s handling this very maturely.” The Uhura he knew had a temper, though she usually hid it well.
Spock looked down at his hands. “She is a mature and logical woman. That is what attracted me to her.” He looked up at Jim, a question in his eyes. “I do not understand why we weren’t compatible. We have many attributes in common, and yet her mind is completely unlike mine.”
Jim leaned back in the chair. They were getting off-topic, but Spock seemed to need an answer. “She’s too much like you,” he said at last. “You expect her to process things in the same way you do, and when she doesn’t, it frustrates you, right?” Spock nodded. “Whereas, when you’re dealing with me or Bones, you know we’re going to think about things differently. You expect it, so when it occurs, your expectations are validated.”
Spock nodded again. “That does—“
“And that’s why you should know better than to try to distract me.” Jim scowled. Spock had his answer, now he wanted his. “I’m tired and my back hurts, so just tell me why the hell you’ve been doing my work.”
“You appeared tired.”
“That’s it?” Jim snorted. “We’ve had horrible, near-death experiences that landed me in sickbay for days, and you’ve never done my work after those.”
Spock’s gaze fell to the tabletop. “Those experiences were not my fault.”
“And neither is this!” Jim pointed to his belly. “The aliens were the ones who did this.”
Spock’s lips thinned. “I should not have copulated with you. Enterprise would have found us and rescued us, and you would not be pregnant now.”
“Or I could be dead.”
Spock looked at him blankly, and Jim wanted to shake him.
“They said the drug would kill me, and I honestly thought it would. I felt like I was dying, my heart was racing so fast. Bones said the stress could have caused cardiac arrest.”
“I should not have…” Spock trailed off. He wouldn’t meet Jim’s eyes.
“Should not have what? You didn’t know if or when the Enterprise would save us. You didn’t know how long the drug would take to kill us. You saved us both.” Jim tried to smile, but he thought it probably looked pretty weak. “So don’t worry about me. I can handle this, even if I didn’t handle that mission well.”
He really could. Sure, he was tired, and every part of his body ached. But he wasn’t ready to give up. He didn’t want Spock to feel like he had to save him all the time. Jim could take care of himself.
“I apologize. I have no doubt that you can complete your work admirably.” Spock sounded sincere, but he still wouldn’t look Jim in the eye. “I merely hoped to assist you.”
A wave of fatigue washed over Jim. “I understand, but I can handle it. Please, let me do my job for as long as I can.” Focusing on the Enterprise was the only thing keeping him from going crazy.
Spock inclined his head. “Yes, sir.”
Jim sighed. Sometimes he wondered what was going on in that big Vulcan brain. Jim doubted he’d stop trying to help. He’d just be less obvious about it from now on.
“Spock?” Jim waited till he raised his eyes. “Thank you. It was really nice of you to take care of that for me.”
“It was the least I could do.”
Standing, Jim stretched his back. “Alright then. Since someone already did my paperwork, I guess I’ll try to go back to bed for a while.” He headed for the door. “Night.”
Spock stood. “Jim, I—“
“Hmm?” Jim turned.
Spock opened his mouth, then shut it. After a pause, he said, “Sleep well.”
“You too.” Jim left. Once in his room, he made a beeline for his bed. The adrenaline from his anger was wearing off fast. Maybe he’d be able to get a decent amount of sleep for once.
Once in bed, he found himself unable to relax. His back ached, he felt nauseous, and he could feel a headache developing in the middle of his forehead.
And in spite of all that, he was horny.
Sex wasn’t something he had spent much time thinking about over the last few months. Aside from a few feverish dreams, he had refused to contemplate what had happened between him and Spock. They were great friends, and Jim didn’t want to lose him over this. Especially since he was still hoping Spock would take an interest in the baby.
So he had jerked off to his fantasies, which usually involved a man giving him a blow-job. In the past, he’d been pretty varied in his fantasies, but the only thing he saw in his mind now was a thin pair of lips wrapped around his cock, his imaginary partner’s facial features hidden beneath dark hair. He knew who the man represented, but he couldn’t bring himself to name him.
For the past two weeks though, he hadn’t even been able to bring himself to masturbate. Not since he had looked down his body one morning and realized he couldn’t see part of his cock due to his expanding stomach.
It was a little bit awkward to think about sex when there was a baby belly right in front of your eyes.
Jim rolled over onto his side. The baby was changing everything about his body. He couldn’t jerk off because of him. He was always hungry and always nauseous, often at the same time. And the insane amounts of hormones pumping through his blood made him feel like a crazy person.
He had lashed out at all of his friends recently, though Spock and Bones had gotten the worst of it. He hated how irritable and frustrated he felt all the time. The only things that kept him sane were doing his paperwork, being on the bridge, and hanging out with Bones.
He wished he could add spending time with Spock to the list, but he hadn’t seen much of Spock recently. With Spock juggling the first officer and science officer positions, he was always busy. After he took over most of Jim’s face time with the crew, his free time had dropped to zero. Aside from when they were dealing with ship business, Jim hadn’t hung out with him in three weeks.
It hurt. Jim had thought they were closer than that. To be honest, it was why he got so angry when he realized Spock had done the paperwork for him. It had probably taken him two hours of free time—two hours they could have spent together.
Still, it had been a nice gesture. He could just as easily have left the paperwork to Jim and spent the time sleeping.
Jim sighed and buried his head in his pillow. He didn’t understand Spock, and he was beginning to think he never would.
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