August 18th, 2012

Stella Notecor

Why Do I Like Gay Guys?

So, I'm feeling a little more upbeat today. I'm also feeling think-y. And thus I have found myself thinking about romance, relationships, and the fact that I tend to crush on gay guys.

Yes. I am a very strange person, why do you ask?

Anyway, what started me off on thinking about this was that I had an interview for a job yesterday. (Yes, ANOTHER one. Ugh.) The minute I met the interviewer, my gaydar went off. Two seconds after that, I found myself thinking, "You know, he's kind of cute!"

Don't ask me why, but half of my crushes have been on gay guys. The first one was the cute family friend who came out to us by inviting us over to his new apartment, which he shared with his "roommate". Of course, once we were given a tour of the apartment, it quickly became obvious that they were roommates... and bedmates. In a three bedroom apartment, two bedrooms had been converted into offices and the third contained only one bed.

I was about 15 at the time, and my girlish dreams that the cute family friend would one day notice I was becoming a woman were shattered.

Not two years later, I fell hard for a guy in one of my classes. He was funny, tall, and from Italy. The tall part was especially important... at 5 foot 8 inches tall, I rarely meet guys who are noticably taller than me. I was smitten, especially after I got to kiss him during a game of Spin the Bottle. I just knew he'd ask me to prom!

Not two weeks later, he came out to the entire school as bisexual. Two weeks after that, he announced he was simply gay.

Girlish dreams? Shattered again.

Why do I do this to myself? I don't know, but I really wish I did!