January 13th, 2012

Stella Notecor

Why Medicine Sucks

So, I've been a good girl this week and taken my Zoloft for five days in a row. I'm going back on it slowly after having been off of it for about six months. And already I remember why I went off of it.

My mood is undeniably better. I'm handling stress and criticism better. I'm not freaking out or breaking down or having anxiety attacks every two minutes.

But this peace comes at a steep price. I haven't slept properly in days. Zoloft seems to make me tired while also making it impossible for me to enter REM sleep. If I try to sleep for more than five hours, I find myself hovering between sleep and awake. It's a strange place to be. I'm never sure if what I'm feeling is a dream or reality.

I'll keep taking my medicine though, in hopes that the effects will dull in another week or so. They did when I went on it before, and when I remained at a low dose, I did well. I'm hoping that staying on a low dose and taking it religiously will help me emotionally without draining me physically, as my higher dose did before.

And hey, one side effect of this is that with my mind back on track, words are pouring out of me. I've been averaging 1,000 words a day this week! Hooray!